Probably many of you have seen on Instagram and/or Facebook people posting pictures with the hashtag of 100HappyDays.
I am one of those people. I started the challenge, so to speak, a little over a week ago. I’m not sure if I’ve seen a huge difference in my attitude or mood, but I am determined to prove to myself that I can find something that makes me happy every day for 100 days in row.
I am determined because a little over a year ago I accepted the fact that I was dealing with mild depression.
Mild depression is the smallest of severity – there is moderate depression and then severe depression.
Compared to these other two types of severity, I think some people may have said that I don’t have it that bad. People might or have told me, you just need to suck it up. You need to start exercising. You need to be outside more often. You need to eat healthier. You need to stress less often. You need to start taking vitamins.
You need, you need, you need.
I seriously wanted to punch a lot of those faces.
Don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful that I have people in my life who will tell me things like that, because I know they’re true, especially since if it came to it, I would refuse to take any kind of medication for depression.
However, I started to question the validity of my feelings. Did I actually have depression or do I really need to just suck it up and tell myself that I’m overacting or overthinking. (Which is something that I do, often).
So, I started to bottle my feelings up again (at least more often than usual). At this point, I just didn’t know what to do.
But then I had to move back home to Southern California, where there is an abundance of sunshine. Sunshine was clearly a major aspect that was missing from my life. And my family and friends. (Note: I had and still do have awesome friends in Oregon).
Being home these last eight months has seen a huge improvement. However, insecurity, low self-esteem, and low confidence is definitely that monster in the closet – the one you aren’t sure is in there – and knowing if it’s there or not changes.
And I know that I am not alone in these feelings – depression, insecurity, low confidence, low self-esteem – but a part of me wishes that I was more alone with these feelings than I actually am.
Which brings me to the 100HappyDays photo project. On the website, 100happydays.com, it states that “71% of people tried to complete this challenge, but failed, quoting lack of time as the main reason. These people simpy did not have time to be happy”
The thing is, is that probably all those people easily have something that makes them happy everyday, yet they don’t have the time to find those things. For me, I’m afraid that I won’t find something in the day that makes me happy, not that I won’t have the time.
I will make the time. Will you?
*At some point I will post my instagram pictures on here or if you want to follow me on instagram, let me know! If you’re a part of the project, let me know, I would love to see your pictures! :)