No. I’m not. At least that’s the conclusion that I came to tonight. I personally think that my reason is pretty straightforward:
I simply do not have the time nor do I really want to put the time or effort into dating or a relationship.
Some of you or my friends and family will give me that particular look where that says “You didn’t really try, you don’t know until you try.“
This could be true, though I did go on three dates, two with the same guy. But while lining up two other dates plus having to remember to check my messages on the dating site, I suddenly was just over it. I didn’t want to make plans for a date, I didn’t want to check my messages. I simply just did not want to put in the time or effort.
And you know what, I think its perfectly OK to come to this decision. Sure, I’m the only one out my close girlfriends who isn’t dating anyone, but then again, who the hell cares? I’m not comparing my life to theirs. They are happy and that makes me happy. Yes, one day I hope to find the person that makes me a better person, that challenges me in a good way and me them, the one who will naturally become my best friend; you know the person I’m going to marry. But that day isn’t today or tomorrow. Or possibly even a year from now.
There is a mixture of things that came into this decision. I mean, I told myself that I would get out there and meet new people and do more fun things, which is why I joined meetup.com. However, I haven’t kept that promise to myself. In addition, I’m working out roughly three times a week, about to be four times a week, I work full time, and I just started a weekly class. These are all things that I don’t want to budge on or change about my schedule. That leaves maybe a day and half out of my weekend and gives one night during the week – not really good for trying to date. And yeah, maybe I’m still trying to figure out my feelings for someone from college, but I’m dealing with that.
One of my good friends pointed out that it sounded like to her that maybe I don’t really want to date, it just has been nice to have guys to talk to. When she said this, I said that is definitely not true. However, as I thought about it, I think it may have developed into that. I got caught up in the various conversations I was having and looking at matches, knowing there was always another one out there. So, I deactivated my account. Maybe I’ll go back to it later. Who knows.
From all of this, I discovered that I have been trying to do so much and split my focus on so many things. And it is just not working. It just isn’t.
At least I learned that I can do dating, especially online dating.
Here’s to me being selfish and doing the things that I want. Like one of my other friends said, who knows who I will meet if I just continue to do the things I want to do and love.