Is being too nice
such a thing?
Has it become a vice
where selfish rules as king
in this kingdom of greed?
Us that are kind
are told to take heed –
don’t become blind
to those who use
others when it only helps them
because they believe they are Zeus.
One day someone will condemn them,
and that day they will learn why this world
needs those that are nice –
My original idea for this post wasn’t a poem. However, when I started to think about what I wanted to write regarding the topic of what it means to be nice – and too nice – the poem just started to recite itself in my head. And so it was born!
The idea of doing a post about being a nice girl and what happens if I’m too nice, came up during a conversation with a friend a few days ago. We were doing a long needed catch up phone call and I started to tell her this – possibly – weird situation I found myself in with a guy I went on a couple dates with last fall. Just for background, before the third date, this guy and I were done. He asked me out two times after, but I told him I wasn’t interested. In the middle of this, I found myself friends with him on Snapchat. In the beginning I maybe sent him a Snap twice (including to other people), but he keeps sending me Snaps! I was telling my girlfriend that I want to delete him from Snapchat but I’m afraid that I’ll get a text from him asking why. Which now that I typed that out, it sounds a little far-fetched.
Either way, the problem I fear, is that I could be too nice! The day after our conversation he texted me out of the blue. Granted it was to congratulate me on finishing the half marathon, but with no communication for several months, it strikes me as a little odd. Being the nice person that I am, I responded, even though I really wanted to ignore the text and leave it at that. However, I made sure to not be flirty in any way my texts and kept things short. Suffice to say, it was a short conversation and he has not texted me since.
This idea of being too nice started make me think about whether there are any negatives about always being nice, besides a couple obvious ones. We’ve all heard the saying about how nice guys finish last, so I asked, what about nice girls? I’m of course not the first person to ask this; many have asked that question, applied to more than just the dating world.
The Emotion Machine posted a really good article a couple years ago about the problems of being too nice. Before college, I definitely would have aligned with the majority of what the article states, about how those that are too nice tend to not stand up for themselves in addition to avoiding conflict (for the record, I am still an avoider of conflict). However, with college came a certain freedom, where my sassy side fully bloomed and with it, the learning experience to not take sh*t from most people.
In the world of dating, being overly nice can come off as being too needy or result in there being no ‘chase’ for the guy. It initially sounds crazy to me, but at the same time, makes weird sense. One article that I really liked from The Bolde, written by Halle Kaye, emphasized the important point that while you should refrain from being overly nice in certain stages of the ‘relationship’, it doesn’t mean that you should change yourself or be bitchy. You just have to be selective about who you’re nice to and make sure that people know you’re not a doormat.
You can find a list of interesting articles about this topic below! And stay tuned because this weekend I’m going to embark on an experiment that you’ll get to read all about! Hint: it has to do with food and hygiene. ;)
Have a great and safe Memorial Day weekend! And thank you to all the service men and woman for everything you’ve done!
TTFN <3 Nicole
The Emotion Machine article can be found here.
Halle Kaye’s article on The Bolde can be found here.
An Elite Daily article, here.
A HelloBeautiful article, here.
A Thought Catalog articles, here.
These two, a Thought Catalog article, here, and an Elephant Journal articles, here, are two good ones that I really like.
All images I found through Pinterest. Featured image was originally posted by user wellscollins on Instagram.
Candle quote picture links to The Daily Quotes, here.
The last two pictures’ links were broken.