Bookish Thought: Does Being an Avid Reader Have Any Impact on My Dating Life?

Obviously I’m a huge reader, a book nerd. If you’ve been reading my blog since last summer, then you also know that I’ve been serious about dating and ultimately finding someone to call a partner.

I did a Bookish Thought post several weeks ago asking myself if reading a lot of romance novels is detrimental in any way to my dating life (you can read it here). I ultimately decided, that for me personally, reading romance novels didn’t have any kind of negative impact on my dating life.

Today (and recently) I started to think about how being a constant reader in general impacts my dating life. I tend to be a homebody/introvert who is perfectly fine staying at home and reading the weekend away.

While I will always be okay with that (obviously), I worry that being a reader and loving books is the only major thing that I can talk about or relate to with someone I’m dating. Especially if a guy I’m dating tends to be more social. I have a small group of girlfriends that formed right after I moved to my new state, but we also have past lives and friends and jobs that make for whatever reason make it hard for us to see each other more than once or twice a month. I have some people who I consider friends at work, but I’ve never been able to create any kind of transition to being friends outside of work too.

Being an introvert and a reserved person also makes it hard for me to go do things alone, even things that I really want to do. It’s something that I’m always trying to work on, but it’s always hard to follow through because it’s always easy to find a reason for not following through.

To make matters a little harder, I found a few articles that talk about how being an avid reader makes you more attractive to potential partners. I wrote a post about the benefits of deep reading a couple years ago that start the list of why dating a reader is so awesome. You can read it here.

I guess I’m not so worried about any effects on my personality or likability. I think I’m more worried about what it means that I put reading first before any other interests because it’s easy and comfortable. But you can only talk about a fiction book for so long.

Do you balance your passion for reading with other hobbies or social events? How does reading affect your dating life and/or relationship?

Related Articles:

These are about reading and being a potential partner.

The Guardian’s Frequent readers make the best lovers, say dating-app users by Katy Guest

Electric Literature’s Reading Books Makes You Hotter (At Least According to a Dating App) by Nicholas Politan

These are about why you should date a reader.

Book Riot’s 7 Reasons Why You Should Date a Reader by Dana Rosette Pangan

eHarmony’s 15 Reasons to Date an Avid Reader


5 thoughts on “Bookish Thought: Does Being an Avid Reader Have Any Impact on My Dating Life?

  1. Fortunately the hubs is very understanding of my need to read. Working with screens all day requires some serious brain defrag time and reading a paper-in-my-hand book is what I do to reboot my brain. As for dating? I would probably be wearing t-shirts that state: A good date rarely beats a good book.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve always been an avid reader and an introvert as well. My husband is the exact opposite – something we knew from the get-go. He hates reading (but values it – his dislike is more because he’s somewhat dyslexic and reads very very slowly), and he’s a very social, life-of-the-party-type person. Opposites do attract, sometimes! When we started dating, he would ask me to come out with him places, and I still always brought a book. Apparently he found it endearing. 😛

    Obviously that won’t work for everyone, but since we both value the other’s differences and see them as strengths in the relationship, it works for us. Before we got together, he never spent any time at his place – he was always out doing things, crashing on other peoples’ couches, etc. etc. Now we have a house, a family of our own (our dogs and cat, haha), and he loves coming home after work every day. I, on the other hand, could spend days at a time at my house, with my dogs and books, and never feel bothered that I didn’t leave. We balance each other out.

    Of course sometimes we find the other’s tendencies annoying. There are times he can’t sit still and I just want to everything to shut up so I can read. Sometimes I wish I could share more of what I read with him, but he’s just not interested. Sometimes he wants me to enjoy social gatherings more, and I just can’t because large groups of people aren’t something I’ve EVER found pleasure in (and I highly doubt I ever will). But, we compromise!

    Sorry this was so long. I hope our story at least encourages you, maybe a little!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for sharing! It’s always nice to hear real life stories about dating and relationships, especially when one has a similar personality to me. I found that while I don’t have to date someone who is a huge reader like me, it definitely helps that they enjoy reading, even if it’s sporadically. 🙂


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